水迷宫

Campus Superstar 2009

2009-04-13T12:42:00.000+08:00

Campus superstar come to a final last night. Again it proven the phase as in the previous few competition, 唱的好并不代表一切. Although the boy singing is good but obviously he still lose out to the gal, but in the end, the boy still win due to public voting. At the end of the day, to win a competition isnt depend on your ability but whether the public want to give money to support u. When two fishes fighting, the one that gain benefit will be the fisherman, singing competition is just a cover for earning money? Hahaaa

This is the same as the working society, no matter how well u can perform, if the boss dont like u, u still cant go far... Realistic and practical world...

阿桑

2009-04-07T10:09:00.001+08:00

Human life is fragile... When everything seem so smooth, taiwanese singer, 阿桑, was diagonsed with last stage cancer and after half a year of battle with the illness, she lost yesterday... She was just barely 34 years old.. Life is so unpredictable.........

2 April 2009

2009-04-02T11:01:00.002+08:00

It had been 2 months since my last post. Nothing much had happened beside wasting some money at the recent IT show. Bought a rmvb player for the family but currently is used by my dad every night to watch HK TVB drama. Also on the purchased list is a laptop which also ended up my bro having it. Although money is spent, but is worthwhile when ties can be brought closer.

I had come to a conclusion with my colleague today, the current job is suitable for those inefficient, non ambitious or waiting for retirement. Too bad i dont fit into any of the above criteria. No wonder my bank boss say I am wasting my time here. Even my ex colleague remind me that is time to switch since the current job prospect is not that good due to under a poor manager. Is time to take into deep consideration then.....

His favourite song

2009-02-16T22:19:00.004+08:00

娃娃的故事

有一个娃娃咿呀咿咿呀
学妈妈说话啦
鸟儿它要飞叽喳叽叽喳
喊着离开家啦

门前的老树舍不得呀窗前的小花舍不得呀
亲爱的妈妈舍不得呀泪儿已经流下

门前的老树我想它呀窗前的小花我想它呀
亲爱的妈妈我想她呀把笑容献给妈妈

Sad.....

2009-02-16T21:27:00.004+08:00

Today is the last day that I will be carrying him. Actually 2 weeks ago on 2nd Feb night, due to some mishap, he accidentally knock onto the edge of the table while trying to get some chinese new year goodies, and got a cut on the right eyebrow, resulting 2 stitches. This is also the beginning of him been take care by his family. Keeping the finger cross for this 2 weeks, decision finally came this morning, he will be taken care by his family in the future. The feeling in this 2 weeks quite faded since I didnt see him but it came rushing back stronger when I carried him for a little while just now. Maybe my sixth sense told me that it probably the last time I will be seeing him..... Sometime escaping from reality is better than facing it... I rather dont know the decision even though the chances of him coming back is slim, but at least there is still a small hope. Now I know the decision, my smallest hope is also extinguished....

This is quite sad as he had been with me for 9 months... I will miss the moments:
- the joyful smile
- pulling my leg to ask me to carry him
- the "greeting" when he saw me
- the window shopping that we done together
- the food we share together
- the mischievous snatching of my food
- hitting my laptop to play songs for him
- the afternoon nap we took
- the curiousity of him looking around when at the street
- the mess he created in the whole house, throwing of toys and bears everywhere
- and many many more...

From him, I learnt how to carry a baby, the baby language, how to feed a baby and the patience and attention needed for a baby. I cant say I had fully master it but it will become a part of my life learning process.

People tend not to treasure what they had and only regret when it gone..... Although I understand this statement but I had let it repeated a few times...

"Thanks for the wonderful moments that u had given me, wish u had a happy childhood!!
Good bye......."

Love was here

2009-02-08T20:10:00.002+08:00

I can't make peace, nor let go
Because I've seem love truly bloomed
I want to wait, keep waiting
Waiting for that night
I came back from rememberance

The moment you embraced me
I felt like I flew to the sky
When I gradually descended
I was no longer me
I had a dream, I was in a dream

Love was here, it was so beautiful, so strong
Rammed through my live with cheers
Even regret had conceded into a treasured smile
Love was here, it made me complete, made me happy
How could I easily let it go
I don't want to be released, I'm only afraid of missing it
I just want to wait for you to come back to love me

Loneliness is loud, I'm not scared
Because I can only hear the longing for you
The world is very big, it can fit
My little, foolish, stubborn faith

I can't remember whether you had made any promise
It's not important
Either way, I would wait for, wait in the dream for
My most only, most beautiful dream

Love was here, it was so beautiful, so strong
Rammed through my live with cheers
Even regret had conceded into a treasured smile
Love was here, it made me complete, happy
How could I easily let it go
I don't want to be released, I'm only afraid of missing it
I just want to wait for you to come back

If I need to use miracle to call you back
Then let the tear evaporate and come down as snow flakes
Melt in the love with me

开工!!!

2009-01-28T22:51:00.000+08:00

Chinese New Year is over in the blink of eyes. Today back to work again, but anyway it is quite slack. The atmosphere of chinese new year is not as strong as in the past. It just seem like another day that dont need to go to work, maybe this is the feeling of growing up. Luck is quite good as I win some money over mahjong during the holidays. The next holiday will be a few months from now.

Coming to work aimlessly everyday is my current daily routine. Maybe is time to find a better oppounity to further expand my horizon, search for a greener pasture, since I already got my degree. The current appointment I holding dont seem to satisfy my expected salary and job appointment. All the surrounding people around me had been saying that market is bad, hard to switch jobs but I love challenges, doing the possible out of the impossible. Haha. So I had decided within this year, I hope to achieve two things; first, find a better job which will be good if it is of management level; second, meet the gal that can share my joy and sorrow.

梁靜茹 - 沒有如果

2009-01-08T23:27:00.002+08:00

One of the meaningful song from one of my favorite singer..

如果我說愛我沒有如果
錯過就過你是不是會難過
若如果拿來當借口
那愛是不是有一點弱

如果我說愛我沒有如果
真的愛我就放手一搏
還想什么 還怕什么
快牽起我的手

有人說
世界上最遙遠的距離不是生與死
而是我就站在你面前
你卻不知道我愛你

我常說
如果人類連愛一個人都被自己綁住
那世界末日已來到
不需要等到地球毀滅掉的那天

如果我說愛我沒有如果
錯過就過你是不是會難過
若如果拿來當借口
那愛是不是有一點弱

如果我說愛沒有如果
真的愛我就放手一搏
還想什么還怕什么
快牽起我的手

2009!!!!

2009-01-08T22:00:00.001+08:00

First post of 2009 even though it is an 8 days ago event. Many people is talking about new year resolution but I dont seem to know what I want to achieve since after I got my degree last year. Changing a new job? Getting a better pay? Finding a gal that is destined to enter my life? Hahahaaa.. Fate will decide..

I can say today is one of the fulfilling day I had at work. It has been quite some time since I had this feeling. Start of the day, thinking it was just another boring day, I met my ex-colleague for kopi and after which alarms start to come in. First of all, water leak alarm where I self improved to understand better how the water leak control panel works and narrow to where the fault is. Second, toilet water tap burst causing water to overflow into the office and one of the IT critical room. But it doesnt cause a panick to me, remaining calm and solve all the problem one by one. After which, entrance door suddenly give way and dropped, again I managed to provide temporary solution while waiting for vendors to come and repair. When everything is coming to an end, I noticed it already time to knock off.

After working for some time, I find myself already start to remain calm no matter what alarm is been activated. Panick is always the cause of worsening the problem. Is it due to I getting more experienced just like playing game where the character keep levelling as time goes by?? Hahaaa.. Time will tells..

虽然你讨厌一个人，但却又能发觉他的优点好处，像这样子有修养的人，天下真是太少了

永邦 - 你是我最深爱的人

2008-12-31T21:36:00.002+08:00

Suddenly come across this song... It will be a nice song play during the wedding... Remember first time hearing this song is during my secondary school times.. It so fun and enjoyable but I didnt treasure what I had and regret after I lost it... Last night had a nice msn chat with her again since quite some time ago, will there be another one coming? I hope so...

家好月圆 (3)

2008-12-31T21:20:00.002+08:00

Is there really any family like the one inside the drama, 家好月圆, whole family living in harmony, full of joke and laughter? I can only say mine is definitely the opposite, sometime rather work 24/7 or post to overseas rather than staying in this house.. Now the only reason that can attract me to come home is a cute baby... Whenever I come home from work, he will laugh and crawl to me, stretch out his arms to hint me to carry him.. His laughter will let one forget the troubles at work.. If he not here, I rather stay out instead of facing all the endless quarrels........... What a "wonderful" family I had...

家好月圆 (2)

2008-12-21T17:38:00.002+08:00

A song that been sang by the family many times in 家好月圆. The lyrics is very meaningful..

家好月圆

2008-12-21T16:35:00.003+08:00

Finished watching 家好月圆 till 3am last nite. Had been catching this 40 episode drama for a few weeks. Singapore drama just cant match hongkong... The love between the family is quite touching, helping each other when they faced difficulities. This TVB drama also won quite a numerous awards in hongkong. Recommended for those drama lovers.

A touching love relationship inside the drama:
管家仔 and 于素秋 had been childhood mates and had feelings for each others since young. But they were been separated due to 于素秋 was been send to aboard for study. After a few years, 于素秋 graduated and came back and meet 管家仔 again. Despite been still deeply in love with her, he suppressed his declaration to her due to she been a doctor and he just a confectionary baker. Just when 管家仔 decide to declare his feeling for 于素秋, she met another doctor, 凌至信, whom she took a liking and rejected his declaration. They are happily together till she find out that 凌至信 had a girlfriend whom had gone through hardship with him during his study at London. To prevent herself from been the third party, 于素秋 considered to break out with him. She finally decided the break out when 凌至信 decided to migrate to London with his girlfriend. During this sad period, 管家仔 always stay by her side to comfort her. Finally his determination is been paid off with 于素秋 accepting his love. But fate like to play with people, 凌至信 appear again. 管家仔 and 于素秋 relationship is been put to test again when she learnt that 凌至信 migrate to London is to accompany his girlfiend for her illness treatment and died soon after reaching due to a treatment mishap. 凌至信 also lied to 于素秋 that he had been married just to make her forget about him. Upon learning the reasons, 于素秋 is confused of who she should been together with. Signs and hints show that 于素秋 and 凌至信 reconciled. Thinking it is fated that teenagers love will not be the same after years of separation but the drama at the end made a twist and 于素秋 and 凌至信 together is just a smoke screen, 于素秋 eventually choose 管家仔.

有情人终成眷属，does this eventually appear in real life? Do feelings still the same after a few years?

IPPT cleared!!!!

2008-12-03T23:17:00.002+08:00

This is the happiest moment of the whole ICT. No need to worry about IPPT for year 2009 but constant exercise will still be doing to maintain my fitness. Learnt my lesson when I almost had to go Remedial Training due to last minute inadequate training...

Reservist over!!

2008-11-29T23:43:00.001+08:00

18 days of high key ICT finally completed. Quite mentally stressed when everyday need to be in camp for 13 hours of shift duty. The only sentence in my mind during that period is "I don't want to lead an army life..."

The glad thing is I am in the winning unit for most of the missions in this exercise and I had cleared my IPPT on my 2nd tries, which will also mean that I had cleared this and next year window at 1 shot. On failing my 1st try, I thought I am going to Remedial Training which is unflexible as only 2 schedules given by SAF to choose from.. But is relieved that my unit "forced" me to go for 2nd try on the last day of ICT when others all had out-pro on the previous night. Heng!!!

6 more ICT to go with the next on next year june. The sooner I complete, the faster the IPPT nightmare will go away. If nothing goes wrong, 2014 will be the year I completed repay what I "own" SAF. Hahaaa...

"A group of sheep lead by a lion is more feared than a group of lions lead by a sheep"

Future Marina Downtown

2008-10-14T21:49:00.003+08:00

Still under construction. Will be ready in 2010. Who know that will be my future workplace...

Graduate!!!

2008-10-12T23:13:00.003+08:00

Finally my degree course finish!! Now juz waiting for the official paper to come in November from UK. Still havent figure out wat is my nxt step, I only noe now everyday slacking inside office.. Wat need to be done for the bank (my workplace) had also been completed, engineering report also been submitted to my boss.. Human are juz like this, too free complain, too busy also complain.. haiz..

Long time never come back to this blog, surprise got so many pple visit and leave comment.. Really appreciated!!

Time passed so fast, 1 yr ago still slogging for this degree course and it juz went over so fast. Now looking at my colleague slogging in the same course, refresh my memories of the "hardship". Haha..
Working for Barclays also more than 2 years, time to jump ship for a better pay since of my new paper?? Hahaaa.. Time will tells..

Exam over!!!!!

2007-12-06T22:00:00.000+08:00

2nd semester exam finally over, 2 more semester to go!! 3 months havent post anything, 3 months say short, nt that short, say long, nt that long also, but quite a few changes within this period. Become one of the lead engr in the engineering team, overtaking a few of the seniors. But when a person is too outshine, he will poise a threat to his manager, especially like my current newly promoted manager. Most of the newly joined engrs beginning to complain abt their pay low and company benefit. Capability nt even shown out, yet still complaining this and that. My only advice to them: when u want to buy a large pair of shoe, u must see if ur feet is big enough to wear.

"诚实的面对你内心的矛盾和污点，不要欺骗你自己"

881

2007-08-19T23:06:00.000+08:00

Watched 881 last nite. A few months liao since I last entered a cinema.. The movie not bad, quite touching despite been a local production, one of the best local movie I can say. The whole movie is about the story of 7th month getai singer, the hardship faced by them.. Especially touching in the ending part when papaya both sang the last song 十二莲花 together before the small papaya died...

"要克服对死亡的恐惧，你必须要接受世上所有的人，都会死去的观念"

3 weeks

2007-08-13T23:30:00.000+08:00

It has been exactly 3 weeks since my last post. Many things had happened during this period..
- Superior had been transfer officially to other site tomorrow, left me alone handling the whole site while waiting for a new guy to come. But me not happy when I received the news, feeling myself still incapable in charge of the whole site even though for the past 1 month+ I had been doing it alone.. Somemore my site is the front office, the most critical area in the whole asia pacific..
- Work has been quite smooth sailing but not for study, family and relationship..
- National day has also passed, seem like I just finish my NDP and GOH parade yesterday..
- Had an increment but still not up to my expectation.. Satisfy in the way that another senior guy 3 years older and more experienced than me is also drawing the same salary.. Make me wonder is I expect too much??? How I hope salary will increase proportional with my workload..
- Change my smartphone to my pdaphone since 3 weeks and getting used to it..
- A new ntu grad join us today as tech admin, supporting all the diploma engineer like me. It must be a joke.. How long can she stay???
- Make a decision 3 weeks ago, decided to raise white flag. Now concentrate on my job and studies and last but not least, my training/workout..
- 2 more weeks will be my exam, now still preparing my assignment, not yet start my revision.. haiz...
- Blog song has also changed based on my current mood..
- Seventh month has also started, need to pray sincerely to hope no unexplainable alarms activate. Sometime u just cant dun believe it, which happen too many times at my site.
- Been 重视 at my job, given many chances to perform and I had not disappointed any of them but I still not feeling happy at the very least.. why??? I also dunno..

Song of my current stage:
我寻找的平静
是我将来看电影
带着一颗平常心
不必为谁心碎闭上眼睛
我需要的平静
是敢回头看曾经
那些为爱患得患失的情景
我选择忘记
我不懂得取舍
才让心痛堆着
找得到前些年
的快乐只是偶尔
回忆是个诱饵
是来叫我回去的
要伤能愈合
我非走不可

Campus superstar result: I expect Huixian and Keely to be in the finals. Is so good to be young....

"因果不曾亏欠过我们什么，所以请不要抱怨"

My desk

2007-07-23T21:33:00.000+08:00

The 3 cars at my desk... Boom!! Rushing to the finishing line!! Which car will be the 1st??

4 more days!!!

Busy week

2007-07-21T11:59:00.000+08:00

A busy week... hopefully coming to an end.... Fire protection system, the most scary system activated due to unknown causes and wasted so much time in order to normalise back.... 2 weeks with no superior around, carefree, things also still going on fine, this show that the world is still turning even without anyone.. But sometimes wonder will there be any diff if he is around or not coz everything also done / attended by me....

Get to know of a job offering from my frd, the current engineer working there is tendering soon, same job scope, pay offered is much higher but need to do shift work and working alone but monthly working days is only half of the respective month. She is also working there... Should I attempt to go over there?? Haiz... choices is always hard to decide...

6 days left...

"我们确实有如是的优点，但也要隐藏几分，这个叫做涵养"

Finally seen her..

2007-07-18T11:12:00.000+08:00

Saw her yesterday on my way for lunch, 1st time face to face after so many years.. Appearance dun seem much different from the past but thinking might not be the same anymore.. we are so near but yet like so far apart, didnt even got the chance to meet each other during all these years... haiz...

Seem like since I knew that I had cleared this year IPPT window, my training is getting lesser and lesser, often due to work committments or other matters that crashed with my training days, coincidence?? Or excuses that I am trying to covering for my laziness?? haha..

9 more days left...

"你看到的不一定是你所看到的，你知道的并不一定是你所知道的"

An Unlucky Monday...

2007-07-16T21:46:00.000+08:00

Today is an unlucky day. Complaints received the moment I stepped out of my hse. Complaints after complaints keep me busy the whole day. Manage to find out the fault and rectified the problem by the end of the day. Does that show alone I also can survive?? Till now, my company still looking for a engineer to stand in for my superior, dun think they can find any...

During my tea break at pantry, saw one of the bank staff holding a bouquet happily from her ex-boss, her collegues all envy her that someone out there still remember and send her flowers on her birthday....... Will "she" had the same reaction also??

11 more days!!!

"大多数的人一辈子只做了三件事；自欺、欺人、被人欺"

Heaven or Hell

2007-07-13T10:00:00.000+08:00

One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human resources
Manager was tragically hit by a bus and died. Her soul arrived up in
Heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.

"Welcome," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in, though, it seems we
have a problem.
You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Human Resources Manager
make it this far, and we're not really sure what to do with you."
"No worries, just let me in," said the woman.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is
let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose
whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."
"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said
the woman.
"Sorry, we have rules..." And with that St. Peter put the executive in a
lift and it went down-down-down to Hell.

The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green
of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and in
front of her were all her fellow executive friends that she had worked
with, and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her.
They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times.
They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country
club where she enjoyed a superb steak and lobster dinner. She met the
Devil who was actually a really nice guy and she had a great time telling
jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew
it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved good-bye as
she got on the lift.

The lift went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found
St.Peter waiting for her.
"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said.
So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the
harp and singing.
She had a great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and
St.Peter came and got her.
"So, you've spent a day in Hell and you've spent a day in Heaven. Now you
must choose your eternity".
The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I
would say this. I mean, Heaven has been really great, but I had a better
time in Hell."
So St. Peter escorted her to the lift and again she went down-down-down
back to Hell.

When the doors of the lift opened she found herself standing in a desolate
wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw that her friends were
dressed in rags and picking up garbage and putting it in sacks. The Devil
came up to her and put his arm around her.
"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there
was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and
had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland and all my friends look
miserable."
The Devil looked at her and smiled. "Yesterday we were recruiting you,
today you're staff..."

The moral of this story:
Never believe what you see in the company or what they promised you. It
always turns out to be ****

2007-07-12T14:46:00.000+08:00

Had steamboat at Marine South last night. Although is a Wed nite, the place is crowded with teenagers. During sec sch days, often go there after competition for celebration even though didnt win any medals, but we still happy as we are the only sec sch that manage to go into the National finals. It is also there, the first time that I sent her home.. The place havent changed much since then but the people/situation is not the same anymore.. Everyone busy with their job... thinking might also be different liao... haiz...

想回到过去试着抱妳在怀里
羞怯的脸带有一点稚气
想看妳的看的世界想在妳梦的画面
只要靠在一起就能感觉甜蜜

想回到过去试着让故事继续
至少不再让妳离我而去
分散时间的注意这次会抱得更紧
这样挽留不知还来不来得及

想回到过去思绪不断阻挡着回忆播放
盲目的追寻仍然空空荡荡
灰蒙蒙的夜晚睡意又不知躲到哪去
一转身孤单已躺在身旁

15 days to go!!!!

"太过于欣赏自己的人，不会去欣赏别人的优点"

Love Is All Around

2007-07-12T10:04:00.000+08:00

I feel it in my fingers
I feel it in my toes
The love that's all around me
And so the feeling grows
It's written on the wind
It's everywhere I go
So if you really love me
Come on and let it show
You know I love you, I always will
My mind's made up by the way that I feel
There's no beginning, there'll be no end
'Cause on my love you can depend
I see your face before me
As I lay on my bed
I cannot get to thinking
Of all the things you said
You gave your promise to me and I gave mine to you
I need someone beside me in everything I do
You know I love you, I always will
My mind's made up by the way that I feel
There's no beginning, there'll be no end
'Cause on my love you can depend
I got to keep it moving
It's written in the wind
Oh everywhere I go
So if you really love me
Come on and let it show
Come on and let it,
Come on and let it,
Come on and let it,
Come on and let it show

Weekend Over.....

2007-07-09T23:23:00.000+08:00

Another weekend over... 1st part of the weekend seem good, no need to go back to work, can wake up late and the weather is cool coz of raining.. 7 July 07, triple 7, a good lucky day as believed by most of the people.. 777 couples also choose to ROM on that auspicious day.. I believed that luck play a part on a relationship but long term down the road, the trust, patience and acceptance of each other weakness play a more important role..

2nd part of the weekend is a nightmare, from 11pm of the 7th Jul till the nxt day morning, my hp has been keep ringing due to some uncritical alarms from my bank, wake up almost every half an hour to ack the alarms and due to the incompetence of the onsite technician, nothing can be done to solve the problem despite me giving them instruction of solving thru the phone...

These few days havent really touch on my study... Need to buck up liao if not cant get my toilet paper liao.. Worse is my previous job boss is in the same class as me. Kanna suan and look down by him during the 1 mth under him as I am unfarmiliar with the job.. There will be no 2nd time look down by him again!!!

Had a feeling that she might had came across my blog but how true is it, a question mark... Finally understand her last time situation of waiting for the other party and yet not knowing wat the outcome will be...

18 more days!!!

"如果你准备结婚的话，告诉你一句非常重要的哲学名言，你一定要忍耐包容对方的缺点，世界上没有绝对幸福圆满的婚姻，幸福只是来自于无限的容忍与互相尊重"

喜欢

2007-07-09T20:21:00.000+08:00

喜欢你的头发喜欢你的脸颊
喜欢你微笑的时候眼里藏不住的光
喜欢你的害羞喜欢你的疯狂
想要一天二十四个小时守在你身旁

喜欢开你玩笑喜欢叫你傻瓜
喜欢吓你一跳的时候看你慌张的模样
喜欢搭你肩膀喜欢你会怕痒
喜欢趁你没有防备偷袭你的手指甲

想要抱你一下贴紧我的胸膛
想要告诉你这样下去不是办法
想要把你绑架想要带你回家
想要非常认真严肃的承诺地老天荒

想要非常认真严肃的承诺地老天荒

思念你令我惊慌想到你令我膨胀
你的每个笑容都会令我幸福的快爆炸
见你的时候我总是说些傻呼呼的蠢话
令我随时随地濒临疯狂

5th July '07

2007-07-05T00:45:00.000+08:00

Had so much unforgettable memories along the road at East Coast Park... I had wanted to look for her but I believed that if fate permits, we will meet again.. Is the decision I make 10 yrs ago a correct one?? Why am I feeling regret now if it is correct?? I had tried letting go a few times, try forgetting her but the memories still come back.. Her late or no reply let me wonder shld I continue to sms or msn her.. sometimes even when I saw her online, I also dun feel like msn her, afraid that it might be another heart dampening outcome... Haiz...

Wat is the motive of life?? Is life getting boring?? or I had lost my direction in life???

22 more days...

"心是最大的骗子，别人能骗你一时，而它却会骗你一辈子"

Padi & Marriage Story

2007-07-03T16:55:00.000+08:00

Padi Story
A student asks a teacher, "What is love?"The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the padi field and choose the biggest padi and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."

The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big padi, but he wonders....may be there is a bigger one later. Then he saw another bigger one... but may be there is an even bigger one waiting for him.

Later, when he finished more than half of the padi field, he start to realize that the padi is not as big as the previous one he saw, he know he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted!!!!

He ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand. The teacher told him, "...this is love...You keep looking for a better one, but when later you realize, you have already miss the person...."

Marriage Story
"What is marriage then?" the student asked. The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back.

But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."

The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he has picked one medium corn that he feel satisfy, and come back to the teacher.

The teacher told him, "This time you bring back a corn.... you look for one that is just nice and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get.... this is marriage."

Busy schedule....

2007-07-02T22:00:00.000+08:00

Start of my busy schedule for the next 1 year... Mon, wed, sat will be my jogging days... Tues, thurs, sat will be my lesson days... Packed to the max, can keep me occupied and dun have so much free time to think of other things...

Think I finally saw her when I walked pass, 1st time since she start work in the same building 2 months ago.. Fate?? Is it hinting a start or an end?? haiz... anywhere the finale will be in 25 days... Will there be a 2nd part to the show?? Hope so even though feeling tell me the chances is not high...

Today running fail to reach my usual standard, cant manage to complete all the rounds I set for myself.. Mind keep thinking of the phase "Sky is the limit". I think this phase is for people used it to lie to their brain... A thinking person will know it own limit and overdone it will result in some consequences.. Just like those runner believe that they can outrun their physical limit and in the end, they lie down flat forever...

New guy gone again to another site.. A blessing in disguise?? Dun seem he can make it, everything need to teach him like a teacher to a student.. how to survive in this realistic working society... Stop wasting my time....

"U can dun like me but u cant stop me from loving u, although I dun hv a place in ur heart now, but I believe my sincerity will be the key to ur door"

Long, Long Ago

2007-07-02T14:04:00.000+08:00

Tell me the tales
That to me were so dear,
Long, long ago,
Long, long ago;
Sing me the songs
I delighted to hear,
Long, long ago,
Long ago.
Now you are come,
All my grief is removed,
Let me forget
That so long you have roved,
Let me believe
That you love as you loved,
Long, long ago,
Long ago.

Do you remember
The path where we met,
Long, long ago,
Long, long ago?
That's when you told me
You would not forget,
Long, long ago,
Long ago.
Then, to all others
My smile you preferred,
Love, when you spoke,
Gave a charm to each word,
Still my heart treasures
The praises I heard,
Long, long ago,
Long ago.

Though by your kindness
My fond hopes were raised,
Long, long ago,
Long, long ago;
You by more eloquent
Lips have been praised,
Long, long ago,
Long ago.
But by long absence
Your truth has been tried,
Still to your accents
I listen with pride,
Blessed as I was
When I sat by your side,
Long, long ago,
Long ago.

25 more days!!

1st day of July

2007-07-01T15:45:00.000+08:00

26 more days.

七月已静悄悄地到来... Finally get to rest today after working everyday since 4th June. Last nite had a gathering with my frds, went for a drink. Reach the state of drunk, like the feel of brain been numb but dun like the hangover...

Saw the newspaper that one of the member from Soul has commit suicide, suspect is due to r/s.. Wat he write seem to make some sense:
"什么是爱？是牺牲？是要快乐？是要天天在一起？是对方快乐就什么就可以？是伟大？是无奈？是快乐？还是痛苦？是要有个伴？让你在最孤独的夜里心灵上有个依靠吗？是可以培养的吗？有时间性的吗？

走在漫长的道路上，你懂你要的是什么吗？你能用手触碰它吗？梦想是什么吗？还是你要放弃，让这完美的梦想，永远都不会有实现的一天？

尘世间最痛苦的事是什么？可能什么都不是。只是自己的一片痴心妄想。"

"走在这下着雨的道路上，你真正在等的是什么？

什么才算是真的拥有？心灵上的？肉体上的？可能都不是这些。。可能你什么都没有拥有过。

凡事只要已尽力，所该说的话都已说完，是否就已足够了？什么才是终点，如果你一直以来都不知道什么是起点。事实上，可能一直以来都不曾有过起点。又哪来的终点？就算有终点，你又怎能知道那里是终点呢？是由天来定，还是由人来定？"

Watching an old local drama "新兵小传" re-air on weekend afternoon, not bad, make me remember back my army days.. haha.. but glad all is already over..

"当你手中抓住一件东西不放时，你只能拥有这件东西，如果你肯放手，你就有机会选择别的。人的心若死执自己的观念，不肯放下，那么他的智慧也只能达到某种程度而已"

30 more days

2007-06-27T22:44:00.000+08:00

Wat will happen in 30 days?? It will be a special day to someone!!

Feel like I know but dun seem like I know, feel like dunno but also not exactly.. so I also dunno where I stand... This sat will be another learning day for me, going to steal some skill from an upcoming site doing testing. Also a chance to be more farmilise with the system over there, who noe nxt time I will be the one post to in charge of that site.. No harm anywhere and somemore got buffet, can save $$$. haha.. But hope that the testing dun drag till sunday, if not I will be working since 4th June without any rest day....

"人家怕你，并不是一种福，人家欺你，并不是一种辱"

Orientation Class

2007-06-26T21:43:00.000+08:00

Today attended the orientation class, quite surprise of the number of students attending the course.. Heard quite a number of them come from CPGFM, my ex company.. Remember the days I in CPGFM, me is from the team under Security & Commercial division.. Think my team is the youngest in the whole CPGFM and I am one of the youngest to become building manager..

Recently also got 1 ex-CPGFM join my current company.. My superior ask me to guide him along but barely after a day, he take mc for 2 days and fly kite for power shutdown.. Hopeless... Cannot make it... Even my colleague from another site also have the same thinking as me when he station over his site for a week. Think the most 3 months, he will be out.. No one can help a person if he himself dun want to do anything to it..

Watched 9pm ch8 show "幸运生", seem like an interesting drama.. Dun think nxt week will be able to catch it as class starting liao..

"不是某人使我烦恼，而是我拿某人的言行来烦恼自己"

想听的话

2007-06-26T00:20:00.000+08:00

慢慢地撤出忧伤
你在转角处等他
能用声高放地唱
我可以整天对你不牵挂

至交爱不会开花
我情书却割舍不下
眼见你爱的是他
却还是学不会摆脱这挣扎

想听的话你说给了他
我的快乐从此蒸发
如果同时爱的代价哪相信
想撒个什么谎

想听的话得不到回答
我却还在独自装傻
回答时我的脸颊好让你看不见
我眼角的变化

Bank power shutdown

2007-06-24T14:20:00.001+08:00

23rd June 07 21:00 hrs
Report to work for preparation for my bank building power shutdown, 1st time in charge for the bank power down...

After the power down commence, while doing all sort of checkings, receive an sms, hoping it to be her but truth often hurts, it from another frd, surprise tat someone still know I working at 11pm+... Listening to my mp3 while verifying all the electrical boards, then come across a song, 胆小鬼, very familiar to me.. rem that is one of her fav song during the sec sch days... Juz because she like the song, I bought the CD and lent it to her... think there are also a few other CDs that I bought because of her...

Finally have some free time and start to chat with my manager and collegues, then come across the topic of the people working inside trading floor and understand the dealer team flowchart and released that analyst actually is also quite a stressed and busy job, maybe that is the reason why my msn, sms often no replies... which is my optimistic thinking..

5am, 8 hrs of continuing working already.. everything went on smoothly under control... manage to grab some time to rest, admiring the nite scenery from my L28 bank windows, wondering wat is the outcome if I didnt choose the regret direction...

6am+, saw the 1st light of the day... 9 yrs ago I also saw the same view with her from one of the chalet... Received news that building power will be resuming at 8am, 2 hrs earlier early than the expected time.. Standby and everything change over smoothly from generator supply back to normal supply.. As usual, engineering will have to standby till the IT power back all the PCs and so coincidence, the 2nd phase major restack also fall on the same day and I will have to standby till the User Acceptence Test (UAT) finish then I can leave the office which is estimated to be 5pm.. 20 hours of working, my longest continuous working record... As I am the lead man for this powerdown, I will be the last man from engineering to leave.. haiz....

"不要刻意去曲解别人的善意，你应当往好的地方想"

Down with cold...

2007-06-21T00:22:00.000+08:00

Msn with her last nite. Feel like I am more of disturbing her than chatting, why am I having that kind of feeling? Mayb she told me she doing a project in the 1st place...

Down with cold since yesterday, today get more serious after my usual jogging. Cant get sick during this critical period, this weekend will be my extra income weekend. Die die also must get...

Cant understand why some people want u to do something then he go and did it himself, wat the use of asking from the start? Black or white also he say, ask people to change things when it is not incorrect but not to his way of doing, always assume his way is correct.. How to improve when u are forever in his shadow. Nxt wk will be a break from him, coz I will be covering a collegue from other site for a wk.

"世上的事，不如自己意者，那是当然的"

17th June '07

2007-06-17T11:35:00.000+08:00

Last nite finally finish 溏心风暴. Know quite a lot of meaningful phase from this drama, saw how united the family bond is and overcoming obstacles together along the way. Somehow I believed this drama got 2 ending, 1 is the 细契 regret and give up the lawsuit which I saw, the other is 细契 continue to appeal after she losed and the Tang property is freezed and temporarily been managed by 3rd party which is incurring a monthly loss and the children side hope that 细契 can give up...

From the drama: No matter how deep the wrong u committed, as long as u willing to repent and even though others might still unable to forgive u, ur family will still be there for u.

A conversation from the last few epi which left a deep impression to me:
甲：你还记得以前的事？
乙：有些事是永远忘不了的...

Yesterday, I been asked for my decision again, am I going over to their company as they are almost going to clinch a FM contract from another bank. By 1st July I had to give them an answer.. Haiz... Decision hard to make...

"我的财富并不是因为我拥有很多，而是我要求的很少"

Standby in office

2007-06-16T01:21:00.000+08:00

Watched 溏心风暴 with my mom and bro till 2am last nite, long time never did tat already. Think the last drama we watched together is 浪漫满屋 which is 1 year ago.. Going to watch 1 more episode later on, addicted liao... hahaa!! 5 more episode to go!!!

1am+ still inside office standby for a major restack... my 3rd time inside office at this hour, 4th time will be coming in a week time for power shutdown. For the sake of 向前(钱)看, no choice but hv to work...

孤单的夜里，望着宁静的天空，让我不知不觉又想起了她，想起那晚和她在细雨中的慢步，画面还是那么地清晰。今天看到她在msn online, 聊了几句过后，她说要跟同事去吃晚餐了。
有缘太短暂比无缘还残？

"吃了就一定要拉，人一定要学会随缘放下，否则就会便秘"

14th June 07

2007-06-14T23:59:00.000+08:00

Uni internship start liao.. So many interns inside the bank I working in, saw my camp mate is 1 of them. A small world... but if the world really so small, why I didnt even met her once since she start work 1 mth ago in the same building as me... Didnt see her msn online recently, too busy with her job?

Malaysia another robbery cum rape case, 2nd in the week.. Dangerous to travel in malaysia nowadays, cant they juz find some proper stuff to do? Read the newspaper article and the gal victim been rape in order to protect her bf, she seem quite strong, faced the reporters without shedding a tear. When u noe a gal tat had been raped in the past, will u dun mind her past and continue to be with her? Wat if the gal had abortion before? Will it still be the same??

"常以为别人在注意你，或希望别人注意你的人，会生活的比较烦恼"

12th June 07

2007-06-12T15:40:00.000+08:00

Busy busy busy.. These words best describle my situation since the first day of June. Last sat just finish another office power shutdown, now preparing for my office power shutdown in 2 weeks time, many paperwork need to be done... Weekend going to burn again to standby for a major restack.. Received news is starting from friday nite...

Busy till no time for my drama, only manage to watch 2 episodes last night, getting nearer to climax liao.. still got 9 more to go... People often regret only after it has passed. If given the chance to go back again, I will not let the oppounity slipped by... I thought in my eyes only got tat gal but actually deep in my heart I had already chosen the other gal whom had went through memorable events with.. only when separated, time will tells...

Recent training had seem to make a slight improvement to my 2.4km running. Manage to clock under 11min again which had long gone since ORD. Forcing myself for a more intense training for improvement. U will not regret as long as u put in your best effort..

"我能为你煮东西，但我不能喂你吃东西。各人吃饭是各人饱，各人生死是个人事"

My Love Will Get You Home

2007-06-04T22:59:00.000+08:00

高雄爱河
Wish I got the chance to be there with ....

溏心风暴

2007-06-04T22:39:00.000+08:00

Without noticing, it already June.. This month will be a busy month for me, 2 sites of my office got power shutdown, need to standby on site over the weekends to do some testing and ensure all the M&E systems working normally, not to mention a lot of paper and preparation work had to be done beforehand.

Currently watching TVB drama "溏心风暴". A nice touching drama, local drama definitely cant compare with it. It about family ties and some people doing all sorts of scheming acts over family fortune. Heard the rating is very high during airing in hongkong. People say 戏如人生, 人生如戏, quite true. From the drama, notice a lot of things, no matter how hard the obstacle or failure a person faced, at the end of the road, family is still there for him to lean onto; when the child wear the graduate hat, the most happiest persons will be the parents, true?? I think so. Cant understand why some people can forgo family ties for the sake of money? I agree money is important but is it really that important??

15 more episodes to go!! Addicted to it liao...

看轻别人很容易，要摆平自己却很困难

Vesak Day

2007-05-31T20:46:00.000+08:00

Vesak Day Fireworks from Buddha Tooth Relic Temple

十年

2007-05-27T23:58:00.000+08:00

如果那两个字没有颤抖
我不会发现我难受
怎么说出口也不过是分手

如果对于明天没有要求
牵牵手就像旅游
成千上万个门口总有一个人要先走

怀抱既然不能逗留
何不在离开的时候
一边享受一边泪流

十年之前
我不认识你你不属于我
我们还是一样陪在一个陌生人左右
走过渐渐熟悉的街头
十年之后
我们是朋友还可以问候
只是那种温柔再也找不到拥抱的理由
情人最后难免沦为朋友

直到和你做了多年朋友
才明白我的眼泪
不是为你而流也为别人而流

Know her for 10 years already..... seem quite fast..

Exactly 2 more months will be her birthday... till date I still remember so clearly..

痛哭的人

2007-05-27T23:05:00.000+08:00

今夜的寒风将我心撕碎
仓皇的脚步我不醉不归
朦胧的细雨有朦胧的美
酒再来一杯

爱上你从来就不曾后悔
离开你是否是宿命的罪
刺鼻的酒味我浑身欲裂
嘶哑著我的眼泪

我怎麽哭得如此狼狈
是否我对你还有些依恋
已到了尽头
无法再回头
我不是全都想过

我怎麽哭得如此狼狈
是否我还期待你的出现
无法再相信
相信我自己
肤浅而荒唐的我
痛哭的人

Schedule

2007-05-22T22:08:00.000+08:00

Every monday, wednesday and saturday will be my running days.. Not going to have any changes till further notice. Need to start preparing for my ippt and getting my fitness and also at the same time lose weight... hehee..

Sian... Everyday doing the same work... What I had learnt so far: "claim credits = we, sai gan = u". My superior really pissing me, treat me like his secretary, everything throw to me.. black or white also he say.. But still need to endure and treat like nothing happen.. Not going to strike back till the time is ripe.. Dun he know that the most dangerous is always the most silence one, strike with his mind and not his body, once explode will be like a volcano.... hahaaa

Receive info that if this july increment is not high in my company, quite a handful of people will start to jump especially the youngsters including me...

"你只管活你自己的，不必去介意别人的扭曲与是非。"

A view from Goldman Sache

2007-05-20T22:57:00.000+08:00

Workplace...

2007-04-28T20:22:00.000+08:00

There were 3 sites (A, B & C). Site A got 2 person (A1 & A2), site B got 1 person (B1) and site C got 2 person (C1 & C2) also. Site A is a back office with big bosses around, site B is a back office while site C is a front office with a few bosses around. In terms of importance and critical, both site A and C is the same. A1, B1 & C1 is more experienced and had work in the respective sites longer than A2 & C2. Whenever A1 is on leave or mc, B1 is ask to cover for the duty there and ask C2 to cover site B. But when C1 is on leave or mc, any standby person (unfamiliar with the sites) is ask to cover for it, just for the sake of making the headcount.

Does that mean A2 cant handle the site alone with any standby person available and need a more familiar person to help out? Or they think too high up for C2??

"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out."

爱你一万年

2007-04-27T22:17:00.000+08:00

寒风吹起细雨迷离
风雨揭开我的记忆
我像小船寻找港湾
不能把你忘记
爱的希望爱的回味
爱的往事难以追忆
风中花蕊深怕枯萎
我愿意为你祝福
我爱你我心已属于你
今生今世不移
在我心中再没有谁代替你的地位
我爱你对你付出真意
不会飘浮不移
你要为我再想一想
我决定爱你一万年

Lesson learnt

2007-04-25T11:22:00.000+08:00

My PC keep giving me problems despite formating for 2 times already. Hope this time it will be back to normal. A hint for me to change to a laptop?? Wish to but my pocket dun allow it. So many things on my wishing list but budget limited.

Started to learn my lesson recently.
1. Never rush into doing something, haste will only make things worse.
2. No point arguing when action speak louder than words.
3. Know your limit and live the life that is already been destined to u, u can go beyond it and wishing for miracles to happen and not expecting it to happen.
4. Never go ahead if u are not confident in it, not all process is reversible.
5. The sky is watching u of what u had done. (Starting to believe in it from my workplace.)
6. No point insisting ur point of view as different people look at things differently. Time will tell who is right and wrong.

Few months back, I expected miracles to happen but it dun and now I realised the differences between expect and wish. In the past, I had already go ahead and buy my N95 and laptop without consideration. Maybe that is the charactistic of my horoscope "spend every single cent u earn carefreely..." But now, I buy things only after weeks or months of consideration, that why I still using my N80 instead.... Every single cent is make up of your sweat and blood, quite true to me...
U will only learn ur lesson only after u experience it, true?? Up to each individual to judge. Hahaa..

Man U beat Milan 3-2 in the 1st leg. A step nearer to an all English final. The match is like ronaldo vs kaka, showing off the quality been a best midfielder. Will man u get a treble again since 99?? Let keep our finger cross. Will Chelsea be able to clear the obstacle tonight??

"如果你能够平平安安的渡过一天，那就是一种福气了。多少人在今天已经见不到明天的太阳，多少人在今天已经成了残废，多少人在今天已经失去了自由，多少人在今天已经家破人亡"

Civil sector pay increment

2007-04-10T14:21:00.000+08:00

Saw the news and found that civil sector will have a pay increment and minister pay will increase to minimum 1.7m to match private sector. Whether this increment is necessary will be up to each individual to judge. Civil sector is known for it lower pay but more benefits as compared to private sector, if civil pay is same as private also, then why people still want to go private when the benefits is not as good....

These few days seem like been released from torturing since I made the decision. Cant imagine how to cope with it when the just taken over new floor giving me problems, lucky now only need to concentrate in one area and deal with it. Pay raise is my only goal now. Money is king!!!!!!!!

"你不必和因果争吵，因果从来就不会误人。你也不必和命运争吵，命运它是最公平的审判官"

2007-04-03T22:26:00.000+08:00

Down with flu today, suay, still had to work, more suay....
Change back to my N80, cant really adapt to pdaphone, maybe I not advance enough. Now my pdaphone act only as a pda and when the time is ripe, I will trade in my HP6828 for my dream phone, N95.Actually my hp now can compare with pdaphone in terms of function after I input all the software.
New guy is gone, finally peace returns back, everything back to normal. Is that a good sign? Or is a warning sign before the real storm come? Wkend going to burn again... What to do, for the sake of money...

"人生就像赛车，当你坐在里面，你就是一个人生活着，几时要加快或放慢，都得由自己来决定。"

Comfortability and Interest

2007-03-30T22:36:00.000+08:00

If u were to do something, is interest, comfortability important? If the interest and comfortability is not there, will u continue to do it?

At first, I thought the 2 factors are not important as I believe u will eventually struggle to the shore even if u dunno how to swim or if the rewards is good, u can chiong ur guts out for it.

But time tells me my thinking is wrong, proven in 2 different situations. First, it is during my 2nd job. Thought the pay will be an incentive for me to look forward to but only the 1st week and I found it is hard to survive without any interest in it, even a min seem to be as long as a hour. Not more than a month, I resign to my fate and tender. Second, is my bachelor course, thought got exemption, then I choose this course. Also I heard the enroll officer say that it consist half construction half services installation, but after I enrolled, I found out is almost all on construction. Not related to my work and my diploma and to make things worst, the uni come out with a new system structure which is harder for distance learners and more time consuming, even the lecturer is puzzled of me choosing this course. So decided to withdraw from it as my interest in it is not high and divert my concentration to work and find a more related course to further my knowledge.

These few days, me in process to take over the site, no major hiccups. The new guy seem to vying for it. Maybe is because I am not ambitious or I still inexperience, I only feel neutral about it. But anywhere if it is meant for me, I will just take. Treat it as an oppounity for me to learn more stuff.

"是非和得失，要到最后的结果，才能评定"

2007-03-26T00:34:00.000+08:00

This weekend hard to pass, alarms, alarm and alarms. Got technician = no technician, everything still need to settle by myself. That the problem of having a foreign technician. Started to have doubts in their working ability.

Whole wkend studying australia economics, till now, i still dunno anything. OMG. Assignment still dun have much progress, dunno how to continue.. Haiz... Stress.. Worst, my boss decided to throw the site to me, asking me to handle it... Is it I suay, previous job also the same, go there for 6 mths, then the whole site belong to me, now this job also same, 6 mths and the site going to be mine again... It can be seen as an oppounity to perform or an oppounity to "misfortune".

"你希望掌握永恒，那你必须控制现在"

1st step

2007-03-21T22:00:00.000+08:00

Finally took one step forward in my 1st assignment. Dunno if the direction I heading is correct as no one to turn to help. That the problem for been a distance online student. Saw many distance students complaining to the lecturer but seem like they arent doing anything to change the situation.

Gossip with my collegue from other site and found out that actually from his photo already left a negative impression on them and those old birds had already tested on his knowledge and found out only so~so~ nia despite his mighty stories telling me everyday. My collegue say one sentence very good "A worker can never succeed when he dunno how to be humble". Now beside been a bodyguard, he double up as a role of advisor, advising me how to write email.. wth... When I just start work at this site, everything I pick up on my own, he been a more experienced guy than me, expect me to spoon feed him with all the info, start to suspect if he know how to read the as-built drawing..

Trying to do as below, succeed or not is a ?
海浪滔滔我不怕掌起跎兒往前划

"你有你的生命观，我有我的生命观，我不干涉你。只要我能，我就感化你。如果不能，那我就认命"

Xiao Ai

2007-03-19T21:26:00.001+08:00

Saw today 联合晚报, headline is a young gal, xiao ai, taking daring photos of herself. Dunno what is youngster thinking nowadays. Seem like they are too free, doing all sort of stuffs just to attract public, media attention. What the world has become??? Is this society lesser conservative or youngster getting more open minded?
http://xia0aii.blogspot.com/

"The greatest danger for most of us is not that we aim too high and we miss it, but we aim too low and reach it."

Ren Ci Charity Show

2007-03-19T21:05:00.000+08:00

Saw many articles regarding that 明仪法师 getting 5 digit pay and driving merc, using the donation like ex-NKF. Whether is it the truth, no one knows but people out there just can use their eyes to see, he can just dont perform and sit there and enjoy the show and after the event go and count the donation. But he just play his part and hope to gain more donation for the patients. People just cant because of the NKF incident and assume this also the same. And just a reminder, is the NKF ex-management at fault, u cant deny the fact that there are patients inside NKF that need your donations for medical care... same goes to 仁慈...

Saw a newspaper article saying that some public commenting that the performances by celebrities is easy and not exciting. Does these people actually go and do their part to charity before starting to comment?? Or do they go and try doing the same performance before commenting?? They are not been forced to do it, they only do it for charity, so people should just stop giving negative feedbacks even when the performance is not to your liking.. U can choose not to watch or donate, no one is forcing u...

"恶口永远不要出自于我们的口中，不管他有多坏，有多恶。你愈骂他，你的心就被污染了，你要想，他就是你的善知识"

19 Mar 07

2007-03-19T20:23:00.000+08:00

Time pass so fast... My study only progress a little bit, assignment still havent start, 11 days left... Economy so hard to study, wonder how the economist went thru it, mayb I not the type to analyse the graph and predict the future. Haiz..

If my boss really to post out, cant imagine how am I going to survive with the new guy. A pain in my ass. He made me seem like I am a criminal inside the office, monitor closely what I do, what site I surf, what I type, even my lecture notes, he also want to see. If not, he will keep telling his mighty story which I am not interested in. Wondering if he feel bored whole day sitting there doing nothing.. Already hinted him he can walk round the office alone instead of following or sitting beside me, but the outcome still the same, still acting like my "bodyguard".

We come across a topic, he asked me how long I got my hp, I tell him this no. I had been using from 9 yrs ago till now. Then he say he got his 十几年 already. But I remember when I got this no. that time, it is still pager era, hp is not common. Then he say he got it earlier than mine. Anywhere to cut it short, no matter what I say, he always want to be greater, better than mine (eg. previous work appointment, hp, etc). As usual, I just bo chup and let him win.

"当你明天开始生活的时候，有人跟你争执，你就让他赢，这个赢跟输，都只是文字的观念罢了。当你让对方赢，你并没有损失什么。所谓的赢，他有赢到什么？得到什么？所谓的输，你又输到什么？失去什么？"

Another week...

2007-03-12T21:58:00.000+08:00

Went to watch the movie "300" with the same old gang. Find the movie not bad but a little bit too 夸张, imagine 300 people killing thousands of enemies without suffering any casulties, pushing the elephants off the cliff, etc... A little bit of unrealistic... But the bond between the spartans make the movie worth it.

Living in central is really convinent, u can either choose to walk or take any bus home in midnight rather than wasting money to take cab home. But there is a price to pay, the aging population of the neighbourhood..

A little updates of the past 1 week: same old stuff, busy with study and work...

A new guy post to my site today, telling me or rather trying to show off his past experience and keep shooting me all the aircon mechanical ventilation technical questions which he specialise in... as if I care about his past, worst, disturbing me to study.

"有缘千里来相会，无缘相遇不相逢"

Yuan Xiao

2007-03-05T11:45:00.000+08:00

Yuan Xiao Fireworks in chinatown. Think there will not be any fireworks in the near future, no much celebations or festivals....

Havent been blogging for the past whole week. Recent updates: Been busy with my part time bachelor course starting on 26/2. Stress is building up not due to the time constraint but due to dunno where to start. Just like holding a chopper and dunno which part of the chicken to chop first...

Went out to de-stress/chill up with army frds last friday. Went for a drink at a "pub", not bad but everytime those same old faces... Seem like most of us are back to singles again and all are concentrating on our jobs and our bachelor courses. Good luck to all, Jia You!! Pple are like this, when u no jio them, they complain u didnt jio them, when u jio them, they say they not free... Haiz..

"When something is destined for u, u will get it. When something not meant for u, u force also cant get it"

Earliest in office

2007-02-26T03:01:00.000+08:00

3am and I am inside office instead of sleeping... Wth.. Been asked to standby for the London market traders, what to do... When I reached, only saw a trader is here.. !@#$%^&

Finished work from sat 9am to sun 3.30am, then sleep for 5hrs, wake up to go to my uncle hse for lunch gathering. Then go home rest for a few hrs before going back to work at 2am again till 6pm. Tired.....

The streets at 3am is slient and bring back my memories of walking with her thru out that night.. How I wish there will be a 2nd time.

"When we set a goal, let's try to enjoy every moment of the trip along the way."

Company CNY Lunch

2007-02-23T16:48:00.000+08:00

Today had company kai gong lunch at Tong Le Jade Restaurant at Fullerton Hotel. Really a high class restaurant, even utensils seem different. The food not bad, got taste and appearance, Sam Leong really live up to his name. 2 abalones for each person, can expect the price not cheap also.

Weekend going to burn again, from sat, overnight to sun. Haiz... For the sake of money, LL also must do. See if can break my previous OT claim record.

Summer is coming, start to feel the signs of hot weather everyday. Think need to lower the office air con temperature if not complaints will start coming in.. It will be good if the weather is cool whole year round...

Yesterday dream of her again. Funny.. when I decided to give up, it come back again, fate really like to play with people.. Anybody can explain what is dream and the meaning it bring??

"One who conquers himself is greater than another who conquers a thousand times on the battlefield."

12星座男人做家务

2007-02-21T15:50:00.000+08:00

白羊座

　　白羊座就是他其实是一个不怕累的星座，然后回到家你说休息之前如果家里有点脏乱，顺手收一收白羊座不会介意，他是属于那种什么对他来说都是顺手，而且很多白羊座，很奇怪他们厨艺精湛，男生也是喜欢下厨喜欢做菜，喜欢招待大家来吃，很奇怪就是做菜，厨艺的部分，譬如说什么先冷冻再解冻，然后或先蒸过再炸过什么的，这种程序他一样不少，都有方法，这个白羊座很神奇喔！

金牛座

　　譬如说像金牛座，你就要承受他对你的看不起这个是不可承受之重喔，只有一个方法就是逼迫他，譬如说你煮菜煮得真的很难吃，这是金牛座的罩门，他可以随便吃但他不能接受难吃，那如果真的很难吃，他就会给你出厨艺来，譬如说他只好上市场去买鲜鱼因为他不相信你的眼光，你可能买死鱼回来，他要自己买鲜鱼自己杀，自己烹然后自己尝，你也别想吃，所以有时候金牛座会为了自己的贪吃练就一手好手艺啦，你一定要做得很逊很逊，然后他才会出手，但是你要小心，就是他从此就动把你休掉的念头。

双子座

　　双子座是属于互补型的譬如说老婆厨艺不精，或者是老婆最近生病，他也很乐于学习啦，因为这种东西对他来说，生活乐趣嘛，但是一阵一阵的啦，如果你病好了他就会觉得，你已经生病好了就你来做吧，所以他还蛮拿得起放得下。

巨蟹座

　　巨蟹座是属于老太爷型的，我说过了好一点的他会嘴巴甜，他会说哪里老婆，你做饭的样子我最爱了，你做饭的背影让我想到我那死去的妈妈之类的，看你要当他妈了，如果你心甘情愿为他做，他心里就会心里暗爽就是计谋得逞了，他宁可打他的电动玩具或者是上他的网，或赖在他房间里看电视啦，他也不想来帮忙，所以你一定要跟他就是强制规定，譬如说好歹你要洗个碗吧，他能少做就少做，一定要跟他讨论一下。

狮子座

　　他们很乐意在这个时候帮帮忙，所以重点是你要装柔弱，你不能强制规定喔，你更不能耻笑他们做得不好，绝对不可以，一定要用崇拜的眼光说你好聪明喔，你怎么知道这些方法喔！像狮子座的人呢，为了这个跑到那个街角去买酱油他都愿意，你只要跟他讲说你跑步的速度一定很快，他就会说我小时候跑百米你怎么知道，而且还说你跑，你买酱油的品味真好，选的罐子真好，只要唬烂他们就可以了！

处女座

　　处女座天生停不下来，就是回到家东嫌西嫌，你看都是自动自发会做家事的，而且他们喜欢以好男人形象出现，然后平常呢尤其是你已经称赞他了，譬如说你说从来没有看过这么好的男人，回到家那么累，还是要起来擦一下地板，因为大家都称赞我，我不能不擦自己压力很大你知道吗？

天秤座

　　天秤座也是那一种懒到不行，他愿意分担但是你要先讲好，而且你要把你的工作量讲得非常地伟大，你要说我告诉你，我拖地那你洗碗，你不要觉得洗碗很累，我告诉你拖地还要弯腰，他就想对喔洗碗不用弯腰，他就宁可就挑洗碗好了，就是分工对不对。

天蝎座

　　天蝎座就很喜欢鸡婆你知道吗他就是那一种，平常懂得一招半式就很喜欢吹嘘，拜托你衣服洗得那么难，怎么洗得那么烂啊，衣服都纠在一起了，你就会说对呀我就是分不出来我有色盲，你可以帮我分吗，他就会觉得好吧，就是你不行我只好下来，但他都不知道他已经上当了。

射手座

　　射手座的人，他会碎碎念但是你放心，他会一边碎碎念一边把它做好，因为他手脚其实很俐落而且他比较宽容大度，就是他觉得某些人格特质的事情要计较，但是这种生活小事大家彼此分担，所以只要你说啊我不会，他就会说好我来，灯泡怎么换，只要这种他觉得还蛮MAN的事情，他都很愿意去分担的，只要叫一声就可以了。

摩羯座

　　摩羯座的人也是属于那一种老太爷型啦，但是既然你不会那就我来吧，他不会随便出手，因为他觉得一出手，从此以后就是他的责任，所以能不出手就不出手，一定要你唉唉叫叫得很惨，然后一副那种非要他不可，他才会姗姗来迟，然后观察半天发现你没有骗他，从此以后那件事就归他，他后来就开始觉得有乐趣了！就也不想让你来做了。

水瓶座

　　水瓶座也是属于能不做就不做喔，除非老婆真的做得太烂，这说到重点了，跟金牛座很像喔，那水瓶座如果说你真的做得太烂的话，像金牛座会下场去做，水瓶座就会想办法用脑袋来解决，譬如说找个佣人，请人家来分担，他非常需要，所以水瓶座他这一点不会省，他还蛮觉得与其浪费他这个时间来做这些小事，还不如我们请个人来帮帮忙。

双鱼座

　　双鱼大家的印象当中双鱼会那么地勤快吗？不是勤快而是双鱼有洁癖，双鱼跟处女是互相对宫的，有一点洁癖，而且你知道吗，双鱼男的情况是这样，他一个人的时候，单身的时候不见得有洁癖，结了婚之后开始有洁癖，单身的时候他会觉得一个男人简简单单就好了，还蛮好过的，然后平常也不见得会回家，因为可能一直加班，反正赚钱打拚嘛，可是两个人的生活，他就要为另外一半负责了，他就觉得自己习惯要开始好起来，所以他就会开始把他洁癖的那个部分发挥出来，还蛮有规则的啦。

Happy Chinese New Year!!!

2007-02-18T11:18:00.000+08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!!!!! Fireworks at the Chinatown on 18/2/07.

"True happiness arises in the first place from enjoyment of oneself"

Chinese New Year Eve

2007-02-17T13:38:00.000+08:00

Today is the last day of the dog year. 1 year has gone... Seem like things never ending and I still inside office supervising the last maintenance servicing before CNY. Go home still need to wipe all the windows..haiz..

Got my bonus + ang bao from the company although is only a small amount. Going to use it for my uni fees. 1st time getting it since I step into this working society. My previous company top manamgement eat the fish without even leaving bones for the lower level...

Expected tonight there will be a human + traffic congestion at Chinatown. Remember some years back, Taiwan stuff started it trend at the roadside stalls, now thailand foodstuff begin to start it trend also, saw some stalls selling Thailand local food. Been walking the roadside stalls every night since I came back from ICT, think each stall selling what also can remember.

Plans for these 3 days of holidays: Get ang bao and continue my 3rd consecutive year winning at the mahjong table.

To whoever looking at my blog, a Happy Chinese New Year to u!! Gong Xi Fa Cai!!!

"我们大部份的生命都浪费在文字语言的捉摸上。爱由一个笑容开始，用一个吻来成长，用一滴眼泪来结束"

2 more days to CNY

2007-02-16T12:34:00.000+08:00

Fast, fast, fast... Left 2 more days to CNY, maybe is due to the time I spent in ICT.. Remember 1 week ago this time, I just reached back camp and busy unloading and dismounting all the exercise equipments and stuffs, now is like just happened yesterday. These few nights chinatown is packed even at 11pm. 2 more nights and it will be back to it normal state, the quiet and seem like abandon town... The older I getting, the mood of anticipating CNY is getting lower. Do anyone feel the same also???

"如果你不给自己烦恼，别人也永远不可能给你烦恼。因为你自己的内心，你放不下"

十二星座爱情绝招

2007-02-15T23:12:00.000+08:00

白羊座：主动

要论谁最敢于追逐自己的幸福，非白羊座莫属。在他们的想法里面，追不到总比不去追要好。因此不仅白羊男主动出击频率很高，就算是女羊们，也决不会让可能的幸福从眼前溜走的。

金牛座：品味

因为注重身边物品的现实价值以及对金钱的敏感，金牛们从小就开始积累自己的品味。要不然怎么最帅的男人还是贝克汉姆这样的金牛男呢。当然了，品味是需要钱砸出来的，因此金牛座的爱情绝招能够实现的前提是自己手头有充足的钱。这就是为什么金牛们有点拜金的原因了！

双子座：伶俐

双子座的最大优势就在于他们不仅敢说，而且能说。只要跟你熟悉起来，天南地北，话题无所不包。而伶俐不仅体现在能说上面，他们的玩乐点子，也是层出不穷的。跟他们在一起，永远不会沉闷。

巨蟹座：温柔

用温柔入水来形容巨蟹座的人，简直是再合适不过了。也许一个巨蟹的“外壳”可能各不相同，而且也许还显得不好接近，但那只是他们为了保护自己安全的一种手段而已。当你获得了巨蟹的心，你们的爱情也就会像巨蟹的家居环境一样温馨甜蜜。

狮子座：热情

狮子座对待爱情是不惜一切代价也要让它光彩夺目的。即使不能让玫瑰花瓣撒满天鹅绒的地毯，也至少要不逊色任何身边人的爱情。如果你不会因为王子公主一般的待遇而惶惶不安，那么狮子座热烈的爱情模式就再适合你不过了。何况，狮子几乎是所有星座中最会玩的人。

处女座：细心

如果你能够通过挑剔又龟毛的处女座的种种细致考验，那么接下来就会享受绝对信心的照顾与关怀了。让处女座不去记住每个细节，那才是最难的。你的生活爱好、作息习惯一定都会被记录得清清楚楚，处女座可能是天下最好的服务者了。

天秤座：浪漫

天秤座看似理性，却拥有着其他星座不具备的浪漫情调。杨柳岸晓风残月，第一片飘落的红叶，都能引发他们无限的感怀。而一杯红酒，闪烁的烛光，也是天秤们乐于编制的浪漫气氛。也许跟天秤一起不一定会过得很奢华，但是你会更加容易发现生活中细微的美好。

天蝎座：神秘

天蝎座似乎永远都是他人心中的一个谜，看着冷酷，却埋藏着强烈的激情。看似不经意的一句话，却隐藏着众多的潜台词。而你的一笑一颦，对方都收录心底。你也许永远无法准确了解天蝎座的人，也正因为如此，神秘的他们可能会吸引好奇的你一生一世。

射手座：慷慨

自由乐观的射手座，从来都似乎不会为钱担忧。而为了爱情，即使把他们的信用卡透光，只要花得愉快，就让他们满意了。哪怕是射手女孩，也不会贪图只花男人的钱，出手同样大方的很。因此，射手很容易结交一大帮朋友，爱情机会也是多多咯。

摩羯座：执著

摩羯座也许不是第一个打动你的人，但绝对是愿意等你和你一起走到地老天荒的一个。摩羯座也许不是一个讲求浪漫的人，但是他们愿意用辛勤的努力与你一起打造美好的未来。也许这种传统的方式在当今这个社会很不起眼，但是像他们这样实打实的人的确值得好好珍惜。

水瓶座：个性

不喜欢水瓶座的人可能会觉得他们太古怪，而且不容易接近。实际上，他们非同凡响的创意，只有在不受拘束的条件下才能发挥的淋漓尽致。对于想要体验不一样生活状态，渴望与众不同的人来说，跟着水瓶座一起，就像坐翻滚过山车一样畅快。

双鱼座：无私

有人说浪漫是双鱼座最大的杀招，其实是不了解双鱼特点的误读。双鱼最大的能力，就是可以甘心为了自己所爱的人，完全放弃自己的喜好，为了对方的人生，无私的奉献全部的光和热。如果你需要一个和自己同样有个性的人，双鱼座可能不是很适合。但是如果你需要一个可以愿意为你的目标贡献全部热情的人，非双鱼不可。

12星座吸引异性的攻略

2007-02-14T11:30:00.000+08:00

白羊座，喜欢的人的镜头在脑海中不断切换，即使不擅长文字活动也不要紧，徒手画一样能表达你想要的，奋斗n 个晚上成就一封情书，揉碎数不清的纸团，断送无数的脑细胞，一字一句，一笔一划，象征着白羊座对爱情充满希望。把情书抄在很有气氛的信纸上，收到信的对方从信中感受得到白羊的热情和活力!!

金牛座，制造无数次的邂逅，在便利店，在超市，在商场，你都精心打扮，从他眼前身边晃过，等你真正出现在对方面前，他完全不会产生排斥心理，感觉金牛们好面善好眼熟，或者，他在你们不经意的邂逅之中，已经被金牛们吸引了，对方会好好把握这个时机来增进相互的关系，并且认为你们的相识是一种缘分~

双子座，双子座的观察力一流，看过一眼的东西就会记住，比方说，对方不喜欢吃什么，这样东西就永远不会出现在他面前；生日是哪天，以后每年都会有礼物送到，把对方的喜好一一背出，了解他鲜为人知的小秘密，专门针对他的喜好，让他不经意感受到温暖，对方会觉得这个人才是真正关心自己的人，会对双子们有所依靠呦~~

巨蟹座，巨蟹们最能感染人的就是一种感情因素，她们每天做非常精致的便当，亲手送到对方手中，不带有任何回报性质的馈赠，会让对方十分感动呦，而且抓住男人的胃就是抓住男人的心，做的好吃的料理，可以把他周围其他的女人全部都比下去，一旦有一天你“忘记”做便当，他会意识到自己已经离不开你了~

狮子座，狮子们往往是所有星座中最有可能做出惊天动地事情的人，她们不会考虑过程，只求达到手段，而且目的十分明确呦~~比较浪漫的一种是购买户外大屏幕广告牌，放一段小广告，写上你想要说的话，让对方在那个时候正好经过那里，虽然一定会被你的壮举吓到，但是还是会很感动，在大家的祝福下，你们一定会幸福的啦~~

处女座，处女座们都是非常追求完美的，完美地防止自己失败，非常冷静地分析自己，所以即使喜欢也会因为这样那样的原因犹豫不前，不妨考虑运用自己的能力，在业绩或者成绩方面胜过他，很容易引起他的注意呦~~一旦长期处于你的下风，他一定会主动来找你，渐渐地发现你的优点，进而被你吸引，一起从事事业学业的发展会很顺利呢~

天秤座，天秤们的交际手腕是众星座mm们最出众的，不妨出入他经常去的地方，先从成为他的朋友下手，周游于他的朋友圈中，一旦天秤们在他认识的人中有了影响力，就会影响到他的生活，不久就会被同伴们怂恿，等着他主动向你来告白吧~~爱情经常被用来炫耀，成为能被带的出手的女人是很必要的呦~~不过切记不要花心呦~~~

天蝎座，天蝎们会先去掌握他出入的规律，在他必经的路段事先等好，在他经过的时候，突然冲上去被他撞倒，在这里要掌握好技巧了，千万不能半死不活，但求小伤小痛，但是请一定做出很不舒服的样子，接下来不管是送医院，还是去哪里为你包扎，都随意了，至于交换手机号码这样的事情，相信聪明的天蝎们一定不会忘记做的~~~

射手座，射手们非常地理智，不会做没有把握的事情，虽然对于告白有所胆怯，但是仍然喜欢着对方，很容易陷入暗恋中。平时很热心的射手们一旦不在状态，朋友们很快会察觉，一阵盘查下来，通常会发展成为，朋友帮你告白。成功率高了，也不会经受失败的打击，但是要注意，不要被朋友得了先机呦~~~

摩羯座，天生性格优越，又有野心的摩羯们，往往是不到手不罢休的主儿，对自己有自信的摩羯，会请人把自己介绍给他。这样直接的行动可能会吓到对方，但是也能立马见效，即使是先从朋友开始，成功率也是99%。在爱情方面一味的压住对方，让他没有后路可退，达成愿望指日可待，不过也请多体恤对方的感受，相互扶持才能走得更远~~

水瓶座，水瓶们会把爱情寄托爱物上传达，如果对方在图书馆看书，喜欢的书经常留有别人的痕迹，不用说，一定是水瓶们留下的，一片小小的叶子，几行只言片语，但是却经常地出现，令人非常想要知道到底是谁在和自己分享这本书，就一直这样交流着。当水瓶们出现在他们面前，很有可能会牵手恋爱呢~~

双鱼座，双鱼们对待爱情往往比较轻率，并不是说他们没有爱意没有热情，而是她们比较缺乏长远的规划，只是为了爱去爱，这样无欲无求的爱却可以感动一群人，不妨当面约出来告白，上演爱情剧中的场面，让对方亲身体验你的真挚感情，经历过一场惊天动地的爱情之后，双鱼们才能成长起来~

Back to civilian world

2007-02-13T15:57:00.000+08:00

Civilian world dont seem to be any better from the army. The most common issue is to wait~ and wait~ and wait~. Fastest way to lose weight is to go back to reservist, tested and proven by me. 168 email waiting for me to clear on the 1st day back to work, think there should be more but my mailbox has reached it max. 168 is a good figure, hope it will be a good start for this coming year. As usual, Chinatown is crowded during this period of time. Everyone doing their chinese new year shopping. My savings also seem to be dropping after paying my uni fees, new clothing, etc.. Might need to find another source of income...

5 more days!!!!!

"与其说是别人让你痛苦，不如说自己的修养不够"

Ex Voyager

2007-02-10T14:30:00.000+08:00

Ex Voyager finally ended, the 2nd high key ICT for me, the longest outfield I ever had and the most exciting one. Heard is the most major local exercise in the recent years. Previous all exercise are usually virtual enemy but this time is real enemy, 7SIB guards. 10SIB did the impossible by beating the active guards, really a surprise for me. SBO and SAR21 doesnt seem quite heavy on me as compared to active days, maybe due to not wearing it often. If all the people is all from the ex-10SIB, the whole ICT will be more fun. Saw many chinhook and apache in the sky at a close distance, an eye opening for me.

Before it start, time seem so slow, but now completed, looking back seem quite fast. 3 weeks of ICT is gone. Back to the civilian world on monday. Reservist can be consider as a break from the outside world, so dont seem that bad at all.

7 days to Chinese New Year!!! That quite fast till to much time is spent on ICT.

"人之所以痛苦，在于追求错误的东西"

Last post before the "war"

2007-02-02T19:15:00.000+08:00

Tonight going back to camp to stay in, final touch up for the next 6 days outfield. Preparation for 2 weeks already just for the war starting tomorrow. Winning seem impossible, reservist infantry vs active guards. Longest outfield in my whole life I think. Hope time will pass quickly and smoothly and cool weather is a must.

Watch 快乐星期天 on Youtube, 主角 is 许玮伦, wonder why her 初恋男友 wanted to 劈腿 when they are together, isnt she good enough? That guy seem to be a flirt, gf both hands also cant count finish, worst when he try to come out with 1001 excuse for 劈腿, just because he got the looks. An embarrassment to the guys. Maybe this is 男人不坏, 女人不爱...

Epi 6/8 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gaIK-qeYPGM
Epi 7/8 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5Q-Z045y1o
Epi 8/8 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isk5jbrnNfo

1 month since I last message her and nothing from her during this 1 month, a sign for me to move on? mayb...

"Never leave that till tomorrow which you can do today."

许玮伦 - Freedom

2007-02-02T11:40:00.000+08:00

Freedom is a song sing by her which havent release yet. Her voice is quite good but her dream of becoming a singer cannot be fulfilled.... Saw many new videos about her on YouTube. Surprise that she appeared in Eason MV "K歌之王", Sammi "舍得", 品冠 MV before.

Guard Of Honour

2007-02-02T11:25:00.000+08:00

While looking through all the old files inside my PC, found some of my GOH photos. 1st batch of GOH using SAR21 during the 2004 infantry parade.

许玮伦死了...

2007-01-29T23:01:00.000+08:00

Heard of the death of 许玮伦 on the news yesterday. What a pity, she died young at a age of 28 after battling with 死神 for 43hrs. Watched her drama 2 years ago. Since young, she is been groomed as a 音乐气质美女 by her mother, she go to music lessons and etiquette classes and with her beautiful looks, she is just like a angel that melt guys heart.

A few days ago, the korean singer, U-nee, hung herself and died at age of 25, due to stress from hate mails. Just a little more about her, she is famous for her sexy dance move and recently been in the news for mistaken as the mongolia model that been exploded to death in KL.

Life is so fragile. Seeing this news make me feel a urge of doing things that I wanted to do but still havent done. Should I continue to contact her?? Or should I just move on?? What in her mind, can drop me a hint? if she happen to pass by my blog...

"Don't fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have."

22 more days to CNY!!

2007-01-27T23:08:00.000+08:00

Some pictures taken from Chinatown lighting ceremony on 27 Jan 07

IPPT!!!!!!!

2007-01-26T21:10:00.000+08:00

The 1st week of ICT had ended!!!!! Happy with my IPPT result especially in SBJ and 2.4km, my weakest link. 1st time doing IPPT using electronic equipment, army nowadays is quite advanced. 1st jump I jumped 216, happy like mad even though it just the passing mark. 2nd jump I hit 221 but fall back... Pass all the 4 static station and left the last is the 2.4km station, the route is new to me plus the timing I got from my self 2.4km running (around 12.20min) make me feel 50/50 of passing. Anywhere just give it all out, run 2 rounds around Tanjong Gul camp and clock a timing of 11.41min, best timing since ORD.. Also noticed that only a handful belong to Cat X, does that mean I am 1 of the youngest in the unit??

"Life's greatest accomplishments are those that at first seem impossible."

Handphone

2007-01-25T22:53:00.000+08:00

简单就是美, quite true. Been using my old no camera handphone since the start of ICT due to security reason. At first, not quite used to the simple function but after a few days, find simple also a beauty. As long as the phone can fulfill it main function of calling and sms, then there will be nothing wrong of using it, other functions will be a privilege. Come to think of it, I had changed a numerous of handphone since I start using it 9 years ago.
From the oldest: Ericsson 318, 688, 768, N6110, Samsung GD60, N8250, N3310, N8310, N6610, N6230, N-series N70, N80.
12 handphones in 9 years..... provided I remember correctly

ICT as usual.. expected comms screw up during the exercise.. putting the wrong people at the wrong appointment.. IPPT tomorrow, hope it will be a pass.

"One step at a time is enough for me. Impatience is simply a way of beating yourself up."

24 Jan 07

2007-01-25T00:10:00.000+08:00

Throughout my nsf life, I never met with a provost check but during ICT, so suay, provost suddenly come and do a routine check. Luckily I manage to smuggle my mp3 player through, sometimes I find it funny that even mp3 player is not allow in camps. They also dont allow camera phone and yet the outside market are producing phones that camera has become a necessary feature, contradicting... The ICT is so far quite smooth except for the usual hiccups. ICT let me learn a phase "即来之,则安之", which I still trying to do it. Life is also like this, u cant force things to happen in your way, u can only hope it will happen that way and no matter which way, u also had to accept it, so worrying and think too much is of no use in the initial stage.

"We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have a the life that is waiting for us."

Butterfly

2007-01-25T00:04:00.000+08:00

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could, and it could go no further.

So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon.

The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.

Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.

What the man, in his kindness and haste, did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

"Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our lives. If nature allowed us to go through our lives without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. We could never fly!"

ICT

2007-01-22T19:41:00.000+08:00

1st day of ICT, as usual, my unit is cock up, spend most of the time waiting instead of doing stuff. Catch up with those familiar yet no contact faces, ICT has become like our yearly gathering, too bad my batch people all post to different units. Already know this ICT is quite "siong" when I heard got bunks for us but luckily stay in is not compulsory. Later in the afternoon, another bad news come, this exercise will be 6 days outfield and weekends will be burnt as 1st day exercise fall on saturday. Is it too much for a ns infantry brigade to fight a active elite brigade and 6 days outfield???

Worst is I will miss the 绝对superstar grand final... ~!@#$%^&*

Continue to watch 1 litre of tear (7.5 episode liao). A great touching drama!!

"The real secret of patience is to find something to do in the meantime."

Cant Sleep....

2007-01-22T01:35:00.000+08:00

Cant seem to sleep even though is 1am now. Wonder why? Nervous about tomorrow ICT? (Is later part of today) Cant be, since it not my 1st ICT, must be just now I had a nap. Time pass so fast, already 1 year, my last ICT still so fresh in my head.

Weekend gone like a bullet train. I still cant figure what direction am I heading to. Have the urge to do certain things but at the same time something seem to holding me back. Mix feelings, undecisive am I, need someone to decide for me and show me the road, I rather be a follower instead of a leader...

As days passed, older I getting and at the same time, my circle of friends seem getting smaller. Common in all the people or just me??

"Good friends are like stars. You don't always see them, but you know they are always there."

项链

2007-01-19T14:17:00.000+08:00

男孩和女孩是一对青梅竹马的恋人。
有一天，男孩女孩牵着手去逛街。当经过一家首饰店门口时，女孩一眼看见了摆在玻璃柜中里的那条心形的金项链。女孩心想：我的脖子这么白，配上这条项链一定好看。
男孩看见了女孩眼中的那依依不舍的目光，他摸摸自己的钱包，脸红了，拉着女孩走开了。
几个月后，女孩的20岁生日到了。
在女孩的生日宴会上，男孩喝了很多酒，才敢把给女孩的生日礼物拿出来，那正是女孩心仪的那条心形的金项链。
女孩高兴地当众吻了一下男孩的脸。
过了半晌，男孩才憋红着脸，搓着手，嗫嚅地说：“不过，这、这项链是……铜的……”
男孩的声音很小，但客厅里所有的客人都听见了。
女孩的脸蓦地涨得通红，把正准备戴到自己那白皙漂亮的脖子上的项链揉成一团随便放在了牛仔裤的口袋里。
“来，喝酒！”
女孩大声说，直到宴会结束，女孩再也没看男孩一眼。
不久后，一个男人闯进了女孩的生活。男人说，他什么也没有，只有钱。
当他把闪闪发光的金首饰戴到女孩身上时，同时也俘虏了女孩那颗爱慕虚荣的心。
他们很快便在外面租了一间房子同居了。男人对女孩百依百顺，女孩暗暗庆幸自己在男孩和男人之间的选择。
对于女孩来说，那真是一段幸福的日子。
但是好景不长，在女孩发现自己怀孕了的同时，也发现男人失踪了。
当房东再一次来催她缴房租时，她只得走进了当铺，把自己所有的金首饰摆在了柜台上。
老板眯着眼睛看了一眼说：“你拿这么多镀金首饰来干什么？”
女孩一下子愣住了。
接着老板的眼睛一亮，扒开一堆首饰，拿出最下面的那条项链说：“嗯，这倒是一条真金项链，值一点钱。”
女孩一看，这不正是男孩送她的那条假金项链吗？
当铺老板把玩着那条心形的项链问：“喂，你打算当多少钱”
女孩忽然一把夺过那条项链就走了。

这一次还有谁能够陪在身边不会累...

2007-01-18T23:30:00.000+08:00

"这一次还有谁能够陪在身边不会累..."
After tonight, there will be 2 more happy person in this world. They can finally realised their dream of releasing their 1st album. This world is balance, got winner, there will also had loser, but bear in mind, "Lose doesnt mean anything and win doesnt mean everything". This is what I gained after winning and losing so many times. Losing is ok if u had done your best, been able to go into the competition is already not easy and to win is even harder. All competition can only have a winner, maybe those that lose will feel better if they think like this. 自我安慰...

Going for ICT next week, thought I can pass these few days peacefully but often the opposite will happen. Yesterday received a arrow from the client boss, think he wanted to test me, then I play along, act a bit blur, stress, kan cheong. Manage to settle it in the end with the help of my contractors. "Good HR is needed for smooth running of projects, assignments"

Today he shoot another more powerful arrow, too bad he is not cupid, if not I sure happy like mad. The arrow pose a small challenge to me, dateline is next weekend but I had completed 95% by end of today. Heard my big boss scare I cant do it, call the "archer" if he is sure to task me for the job. Now left is my contractor side, hope he can produce the result tomorrow. 尽人事，听天命

Time for 绝对Superstar result!!!!!!!!!!!!

"You can do anything if you have enthusiasm."

绝对Superstar final!!

2007-01-17T21:25:00.000+08:00

绝对Superstar final!!! One year already passed since the last superstar competition, fast.... If nothing goes wrong, Diya and Daren will be the winner for their respective group even though I support Carrie. Outside is saying that the grand winner will be from the male side, had to admit that the male side singing and 舞台魅力 is better than female side but dont forget that grand final is fully depend on people voting, so I predict Diya will be the black horse to be the overall winner as her 粉丝团 spending power is much more powerful. A good example is last year 绝对Superstar, remember how a competitor can sing out of the 制定歌曲主题, yet can still win the competition.. Moral of the competition: "唱得好并不代表一切"

Although Carrie is not a hot favourite, but she still can perform so well, 精神可嘉. The last song "触摸" she sing is the best, totally bring out the feelings. And the 1st song she sing "写一首歌" remind me of her again.

Remember the songs she like to sing is 写一首歌, 你怎么舍得我难过, 别怕我伤心, 有时候, 胆小鬼, etc... Often hear her singing last time, will I still be able to hear her sing again??

"Many times we convince ourselves we love... only to realise on hindsight, it was merely loneliness, familiarity, and the fear of letting go.."

Touching life story.....

2007-01-17T16:06:00.000+08:00

A young man was getting ready to graduate college. Formany months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted.

As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car. Finally, on the morning of his graduation his father called him into his private study. His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son a beautiful wrapped gift box.

Curious, but somewhat disappointed the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible. Angrily, he raised his voice at his father and said, "With all your money you give me a Bible?" and stormed out of the house, leaving the holy
book.

Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business. He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He had not seen him since that graduation day. Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had
passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He needed to come home immediately and take care things. When he arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness and regret filled his heart.

He began to search his father's important papers and saw the still new Bible, just as he had left it years ago. With tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages. As he read those words, a car key dropped from an envelope taped behind the Bible.

It was the sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words...PAID IN FULL.

How many times do we miss God's blessings because they are not packaged as we expected?

Singapore Night View

2007-01-16T20:43:00.000+08:00

A photo from the sea....

15 Jan '07

2007-01-15T23:15:00.001+08:00

Top of buildings cover in the clouds.. remind me of genting....

A view from my workplace... Nice view but everyday see also sian...

2007-01-15T00:38:00.000+08:00

Another day passed... Did nothing much. Lion dance competition at chinatown these 2 days, injecting some life into the area since the closure of the markets for renovation. The competition is competitive, once u make a mistake, u are out of the race for the top. Remind me of my last time competition training, 台上三分钟, 台下十年功. Train like mad but everything is paid back when I won the race.

Shift my workatation yesterday, nearer to big boss area. Do everything also need to be more alert. Time to sleep... Another start of the week again..

"It is easier to be wise for others than for ourselves."

DiNnEr AnD dAnCe

2007-01-13T15:15:00.000+08:00

Last night attended my 1st company dinner since I come into this society for 2 years. Last year, my ex-company dinner is only for those old birds, so I am not invited to go even though I had been working for them for 1+ year. My current company invited all to go even those fresh joiner that had only been around for only 1 month plus. Does this conclude that current company benefit is better?? I guess so..

Quite an enjoyable night but the place is again RTC.. Think I had been going there 2 times in 3 weeks, 1st time is my bunk mate wedding.. The food is quite within my prediction, a 8 course dinner, nothing surprising. Theme for the night is retro, so every guys need to wear a retro tie and gals with a hairband on her head. Saw many unknown faces as I am station at site and seldom went back to main office. A gal at my table got long service award but she dun seem like she had been working for 10 years, look and behave like early twenties only. Although my table lose in the games but I think we had our revenge in drinking red wine. Me alone already drink around 6 glass and the gal next to me (whom I mention earlier on) also around the same. Keep asking the waiter for 1 to 1 exchange when she saw empty glasses, luckily I am trained in drinking, so not a big problem to me. Haha.. The night ended with everyone got a lucky draw prize and a standard sentence by every company: "Continue to work hard for the coming year"

"What you will do matters. All you need is to do it."

雨中的纸鹤

2007-01-13T13:49:00.000+08:00

男孩和女孩初恋的时候﹐男孩为女孩折了一千只纸鹤﹐挂在女孩的房间里。

男孩对女孩说﹐这一千只纸鹤﹐代表我一千菪囊狻?

那时候﹐男孩和女孩分分秒秒都在感受着恋爱的甜蜜和幸福。

　　后来女孩渐渐疏远了男孩。女孩结婚了﹐去了法国﹐去了无数次出现在她梦中的巴黎。

女孩和男孩分手的时候﹐对男孩说﹐我们都必须正视现实﹐婚姻对女人来说是第二次投胎﹐我必须抓牢一切机会﹐你太穷﹐我难以想象我们结合在一起的日子……

男孩在女孩去了法国后﹐卖过报纸﹐干过临时工﹐做过小买卖﹐每一项工作他都努力去做。

许多年过去了﹐在朋友们的帮助和他自己的努力下﹐他终于有了自己的一家公司。

他有钱了﹐可是他心里还是念念不忘女孩。

　　有一天下着雨﹐男孩从他的黑色奥迪车里看到一对老人在前面慢慢地走。

男孩认出那是女孩的父母﹐于是男孩决定跟着他们。

他要让他们看看自己不但拥有了小车﹐还拥有了别墅和公司，让他们知道他不是穷光蛋﹐他是年轻的老板。

男孩一路开慢车跟着他们。雨不停地下着﹐尽管这对老人打着伞﹐但还是被斜雨淋湿了。

到了目的地﹐男孩呆了﹐这是一处公墓。

他看到了女孩﹐墓碑的瓷像中女孩正对着他甜甜地笑。

而小小的墓旁﹐细细的铁丝上挂着一串串的纸鹤﹐在细雨中显得如此生动。

　　女孩的父母告诉男孩﹐女孩没有去巴黎﹐女孩患的是癌症﹐女孩去了天堂。

女孩希望男孩能出人头地﹐能有一个温暖的家﹐所以女孩才做出这样的举动。

她说她了解男孩﹐认为他一定会成功的。

女孩说如果有一天男孩到墓地看她﹐请无论如何带上几只纸鹤。

男孩跪下去﹐跪在女孩的墓前﹐泪流满面。

清明节的雨不知道停﹐把男孩淋了个透。

男孩想起了许多年前女孩纯真的笑脸﹐男孩看的心就开始一滴滴往下淌血。

　　这对老人走出墓地的时候﹐看到男孩站在不远处﹐奥迪的车门已经为老人打开。

汽车音响里传出了哀怨的歌声﹐“我的心﹐不后悔﹐反反复复都是为了你﹐千纸鹤﹐千份情﹐在风里飞……”

一公升的眼泪

2007-01-12T01:18:00.000+08:00

看了第三集的“一公升的眼泪”，觉得生命真的很脆弱，命运真的很残酷。十五岁的Aya绝症恶化了，有了明显的症状。如果你是Aya，你会选择勇敢面对病情，还是选择逃避？我会没有勇气去接受这残酷的事实，选择逃避，装作一切都没发生过。当Aya的父母得知她有了这种不治之症，对她更关怀备至。我觉得这样做会使得Aya更加难受，更舍不得离开她所熟悉的家庭，这个世界。相信每一位病人都不希望身边的人因为自己的病，憔悴的模样而感到悲哀，沮丧。如果是我，我宁愿大家不要因为我有病而迁就我，让我，最好就跟以往一样，也许这样我会觉得比较好过些。每个人都不知下一分钟会发生什么事，所以大家要好好地珍惜跟家人，朋友，情人之间的时间，不要等到失去了再感到可惜。

"失去并不是一切都没有了，最少在心里还有一个回忆 "

灰色的玫瑰花

2007-01-11T12:00:00.000+08:00

男孩失恋了，女孩选择了别人。他好不甘心，每一天都沉迷在烟酒之中，荒度着生命，对他来说，这个世界已没有意义，生命早已失去了活下去的理由，除了痛苦，再也找不到别的什么了。

就在这个时候，上帝出现了，不知是因为同情，或者是怜悯。“你有什么愿望吗？”上帝问。

“带我到一个没有情的地方吧，我愿用自己的一生来换取一个月的时间。这个世界，已再也没有我存在的理由。”男孩沮丧地说。

“好吧。”上帝考虑了一下：“确实有这样一个世界，不过我也可以给你一个机会。”

“什么机会？”

“当你想要回来的时候，只要在这一个月内，让一个女子对你说‘我爱你’，那么你就可以返回这里。”

“我不会想要回来的。”男孩说。他笑着闭上了眼睛，迎接着那个新的世界，那个他自认不会再痛苦的世界，也不会再有爱的世界。

这个世界是灰色的。这是男孩的第一个反应，眼前的一切都没有色彩，但这或许正是男孩想要的世界吧。不会再痛苦了。于是，男孩就这样住了下来，平静的接受，平静地等待着死亡。

直到那一天，平静却被打破了，他看到了那个女孩，那个与他深爱着的女孩有着极其相似的相貌，甚至连声音，连习惯，连性格都如此相似的人，他愣住了，知道自己逃不开了，不管自己呆在任何的地方，无论是曾经的世界，或者是这个灰色世界，自己永远都深爱着这个女孩，永远都忘不了。他想起了上帝给他的机会，于是告诉自己：“反正是无法忘记对她的感情了，那不要再放弃了，她在那个世界甩了我一次，那我就在这个世界将她追回吧，然后将她带回去。我们一起回去。”

从此以后，男孩每天都会去找女孩，白天去她的花店买一束灰色的玫瑰送她，晚上就站在她的窗台下告诉她自己是多么的喜欢她，每一天都没有变过。可是女孩却从来没有答应过，除了一口拒绝，连犹豫都没有过。男孩不明白，自己绝对不算差，女孩又没有男朋友，为什么不肯答应他？甚至连考虑一下都不曾？莫非她有什么难言之隐吗？

于是，男孩终于忍不住问女孩：“你为什么不肯给我一次机会呢？”

“因为，这里的玫瑰是没有红色的呀。”女孩的回答中并不带任何的感情，却也不像在开玩笑。

男孩却更不明白了，灰色世界之中，永远只有灰色，又何来红色呢？可是，爱一个人，又与玫瑰的颜色有什么关系？如果爱情的价值只是用玫瑰的颜色就可以衡量，那么，他又何必独自痛苦，又何必用一生来换取一个月？他只知道，从认识以来，女孩从没对他笑过，总是冷言冷语，更别说对自己说“我爱你”了，反而自己却在这个本应没有感情的世界之中，越陷越深，不可自拔，为什么？这里不是应该没有痛苦吗？为什么会觉得如此的心痛？莫非，自己被上帝耍了么？用一生的生命，却换来一个月的痛苦，为什么？

男孩狂笑着跑出了花店，独留下女孩一人，没有再回头看，却也因此，错过了女孩脸上的那一份无奈，一份痛苦，一份想要抓住他的冲动，女孩知道，这是不被允许的。

那一天，是一个月的最后一天，男孩躺在床上，等待著自己的死亡。这些日子，他再也没有去找过女孩，想要忘记，却忘不掉。心中不停的浮现出女孩的身影，是无奈，是痛苦，或者，只是对那个女孩的爱呢？不过这些已经不重要了，对一个快要死的人来说，一切都不会显得重要。

房间的门却在这时被推开了，而走进来的人，居然是那个他深爱着的女子，而她的手上，提着一篮已经谢去的灰色玫瑰。他知道，那是他每天送给她的。男孩惊讶得说不出话，“为什么？你为什么会来？”明知女孩并不爱自己，可是心中仍然不免一阵感动。

“傻瓜！”第一次，女孩不再用那冰冷的声音对他说话：“你的期限只有一个月，如果我今天不来，不就是再也见不到了吗？”

“你走吧，我不需要任何人可怜，”男孩的眼中流露出一丝痛苦，居然一直到最后，他还是无法抓住自己心爱的东西：“我的路是由我自己选择的。”

“那么，你后悔过吗？后悔来到这里？”女孩问他。

“后悔。选择来到这里，一开始就是个错误，我仍然无法不去爱上你，无法忘记你，无法不痛苦，也无法让你爱上我！”男孩的声音中隐藏着一份哭泣，可是却没人听得出，除了女孩。

“还不明白吗？再很早以前，我就已经爱上你了呀！”女孩笑了，笑中隐含着一份苦涩，却也带有一份轻松。

男孩不可置信地望着她，好一会儿，突然怒吼：“我说过我是不需要同情的！你根本不需要拿这种谎话来骗我！”

“我并没有骗你呀。”女孩站在那里，望着男孩：“自从一开始，我已经爱上你了，从你买走第一朵灰色的玫瑰开始。”

“不可能的。”男孩摇摇头：“否则，你为什么不早说，而一定要等到今天呢？”

“因为……”女孩凄然一笑：“我想要多和你在一起呀，想要和自己喜欢的人多在一起，在你们的世界，应该没有错吧？”

男孩摇摇头，他不明白，说与不说同在一起有什么关系呢？

“你忘记了你曾经的愿望吗？你要的是一个无情的世界。”女孩停住了，然后露出了她那最美的笑容，她知道，这是男孩一直想要看到的笑容，那是她送给男孩的最后一份礼物：“而在这个灰色世界里，除非是与上帝有过契约之人，像我这样的人，爱上一个人，并对他说那三个字的意义，就代表着生命的终结。”

男孩愣住了，在还没有来得及思考之时，女孩轻轻地对他说：“我不要你死去，所以，我爱你，只有今生，只在这里。”男孩猛地伸出手，想要抓住女孩，但却在风吹起的一瞬间，抓住了一把灰色的沙。灰色的玫瑰花瓣轻轻地飘落，落在他的手上，落在那灰色的沙上。

静静地捏着，紧紧地捏着，男孩终于知道自己犯了多么大的一个错误。他轻轻的用刀划开自己的手臂，只想用血染红那灰色的玫瑰，但是却看到，即使是自己的血，也已经变成了灰色的了，只是缓缓地渗入那细细的灰沙之中。

“你后悔当初的决定了吗？”上帝总是来得最迟的一人。

男孩默然的抬起头，望着他，点点头，又摇摇头：“原来，最棒的世界还是原来的那一个呢！只因为，不管有多么的痛苦，那里，至少还拥有希望呀！”他说，望着那灰色的花瓣，却笑了，这是他自从失恋以来的第一个笑容。

“是吗？现在她已经对你说过我爱你，你可以回去了。”上帝笑着准备送他回去。

“已经不用了。因为，我并不后悔来到这里，不后悔当初的选择，如果要我再选一次，我还是会来。”望着手中的细纱与花瓣，“我的心，已经遗落了，回不去了。”

男孩站起来，问上帝：“可以给我一朵红色的玫瑰吗？”

“你忘了吗？灰色世界是不能有红色的。”

“是吗？看来我真的要求得太多了。”望着墙上的时钟，男孩将手中的细沙捏得更紧了，还有那灰色的玫瑰花瓣。

时钟敲了12下，一切都不再存在了，只剩下随风飘动的细沙。远处飞来一张破纸，隐约地现出了当天的新闻。没有人知道，那里曾发生过什么。只是不知在什么时候，在墙角的沙堆之中，竟生出了一支红色的玫瑰，那样的鲜红，就像血一样……

2007-01-09T17:30:00.000+08:00

Am I changing? When I first come to this company to work, cant used to after 6pm still inside office. But recently, after 6pm still inside office become part of my daily routine, don't feel anything special, got used to it. Last time paid me to work OT, I still need to consider as my thinking is "I prefer freedom to working OT even though I got paid for it". During my next ICT, there is a major shutdown going on overnight at my workplace and is like 22 hours of OT and the thing is I actually feel a little pity that I missed it due to my ICT. OMG!! Is that the real me? Had my thinking changed to suit the society?? I cant believe it..... So is it better or worse that my thinking had change with the society (to "chiong" OT)??
Just to deceive myself, maybe I feel pity is because I lose a oppounity to gain experience from the shutdown and not the money I can get from the OT.. Haha... Is this the so call think positively??
30 more mins to knock off.... Yeah!!! Counting down.....

一个流星的故事

2007-01-09T11:30:00.000+08:00

缘使得那个男孩和那个女孩成为同学并坐到一起来。他们很谈得来，很要好。在一起很开心。那个女孩虽然不很美丽，但很善良，有一颗很美的心。

那个女孩很喜欢花，尤其百合。于是在那个男孩的心底总有心愿：要在那女孩子生日那天送她一束很美丽很美丽的百合。攒着这个愿望他好幸福地过了大半年。终于等到那一天来到了。在那个女孩生日的那天清晨。很早很早就守候在花店的门口。买了一束结着露水很美丽的百合。他在心里编织着那早已构想过千万遍的情节。在月花下，烛光中，让她闭上眼睛后，睁开眼一束好美丽好美丽的百合盛开在她眼前。然后对她说：“让我走进你的世界。”她那美丽惊喜的样子。

然而浪漫像一只被猎人盯着的小鸟总逃不脱现实的子弹。一个男孩送花给一个女孩是需要很大的勇气的。那个男孩积蓄了大半年的勇气就在面对她的一刹那崩溃了。放在包里的花始终没有拿出来，直到望尽她回家的背影？但那男孩对自己说：“明天，明天我一定会做到的。”然而，第二天他又用同样的话欺骗了自己。但他始终在等那一天的到来。

但是做梦也没想到的是，上天竟如此的残酷。他等不到那一天了。那个女孩在一天上学的路中被城市汹涌的车流吞噬了。就在她生命的最后一个晚上，那个男孩拿着那束百合想要送给她。病房的门口他没有进去。他感觉那苍白苍白的脸雪白雪白的墙很冷很冷。

那晚没有星光没有月亮，夜色很凄凉。那个男孩没有回家，他拿着那束百合花坐在医院门口。他总相信小时候外婆讲的那个美丽的童话。当流星划过时许一个愿。愿望就会实现。他在等候那个流星，要许一个愿望。那晚他眼都没有眨一下的等了一晚上。但那颗流星始终没有出现。第二天清晨，那个女孩就走了。那束百合也凋谢了。

那个男孩很伤心很伤心。仿佛这个世界一下子变得暗淡起来。他无法面对，他总生活在那些美好回忆中。他总强迫自己去相信老师讲的那个美丽的谎言：“她转学了，到了一个很远很远的地方去了，她至今生活的很好很愉快。”

每个星夜，那个男孩都在苦候那颗流星，跟人讲述这个流星的故事。当别人听了难过的时候。他都会笑着说这是个编造的故事，当别人信了不难过了。他却背过脸拭去淌下的泪。

2007-01-08T22:19:00.000+08:00

Today dunno I eat what miracle pill. Run for 7km, still not tired, one of my most satisfied run in 2007 or should be after my ORD. If I can run like this in all my running sessions, getting back to or close to my NS condition, shouldn't be too much problem.

Am I expecting too much?? During a coffee break today with me and other staff (all 30+), we come across a topic of salary. I notice that 2k+ is quite common and 3k is consider high.. So for my age, qualification and experience getting a 2k pay is consider reasonable?? But I dun seem to satisfy with it..

"Remember that life's most treasured moments often come unannounced."

2007-01-08T17:29:00.000+08:00

8 days has passed in 2007... Seem like most people has set some goals/objectives to achieve for this year. I belong to the minority that had not set anything as I still at the crossroad junction, in front of me is mist, dunno which direction I am heading to. U can set as many goals as u want but whether to achieve it is another story.

I am not myself, maybe is not a choice since I am in this working society. I dun like entertaining but everyday still had to entertain. Even when my big boss say wrong, I still need to say is correct. When he say a lame joke, I still had to laugh... Sometime I will "siam" from him to escape from engaging a soundless conversation with him. What to do....

"每个人都有自己喜与不喜欢的人。你不需要勉强自己去讨好每个人。尽管做你想做的事，只要你心里知道你的决定是对的，将来就不会因为今天的决定而后悔"

The Window

2007-01-08T13:48:00.000+08:00

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour a day to drain the fluids from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation. And every afternoon when the man in the bed next to the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed would live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the outside world. The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake, the man had said. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Lovers walked arm in arm amid flowers of every color of the rainbow. Grand old trees graced the landscape, and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man could not hear the band, he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words. Unexpectedly, an alien thought entered his head: Why should hehave all the pleasure of seeing everything while I never get to see anything? It didn't seem fair. As the thought fermented, the man felt ashamed at first. But as the days passed and he missed seeing more sights, his envy eroded into resentment and soon turned him sour. He began to brood and found himself unable to sleep. He should be by that window - and that thought now controlled his life.

Late one night, as he lay staring at the ceiling, the man by the window began to cough. He was choking on the fluid in his lungs. The other man watched in the dimly lit room as the struggling man by the window groped for the button to call for help. Listening from across the room, he never moved, never pushed his own button which would have brought the nurse running. In less than five minutes, the coughing and choking stopped, along with the sound of breathing. Now, there was only silence--deathly silence.

The following morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths. When she found the lifeless body of the man by the window, she was saddened and called the hospital attendant to take it away--no words, no fuss. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look. Finally, he would have the joy of seeing it all himself. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall.

Moral of the story:
The pursuit of happiness is a matter of choice...it is a positive attitude we consciously choose to express. It is not a gift that gets delivered to our doorstep each morning, nor does it come through the window. And I am certain that our circumstances are just a small part of what makes us joyful. If we wait for them to get just right, we will never find lasting joy.

The pursuit of happiness is an inward journey. Our minds are like programs, awaiting the code that will determine behaviors; like bank vaults awaiting our deposits. If we regularly deposit positive, encouraging, and uplifting thoughts, if we continue to bite our lips just before we begin to grumble and complain, if we shoot down that seemingly harmless negative thought as it germinates, we will find that there is much to rejoice about.

**水迷宫**